Listen to the Silence

La Parguera, PR

“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven't the answer to a question you've been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you're alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.” ― Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

Most of us are naturally sociable persons; we like to be in the company of others for many reasons.  First and foremost, we enjoy witty and intelligent conversations on different topics; we like to laugh, cry, support each other, and build relationships that over time provide us with a sense of purpose and belonging. Consequently, many persons do not like to be alone, ever; they will not go alone to restaurants, shopping, or the movies, just to name a few activities. I consider myself a gregarious person, yet I am a staunch believer in the need to be alone once in a while.

To be alone is not a bad thing if it is a choice.  To be alone allows us to take time for ourselves, be it a few hours, a day, a few days or more.  I see my alone time as my own quality time to take my mind off negative events and focus on the positive; sometimes that take a lot of time, effort and energy.  Being alone allows us time to pursue our passions which could be reading, watching movies, writing, painting, sewing; whatever it is that gives us joy and satisfaction.  When we are alone we can reflect on what we’ve said or done with no one around to pass judgment.  These moments provide us the opportunity to explore our own strengths and to promote our peace and serenity.

I have prepared a space for myself in my bedroom where I go when I need to be alone.  In front of glass sliding doors that look out onto a wooded area I have a small, round mosaic table that Eddie made for me, two chairs, a lovely banker’s lamp, and my laptop.  Next to the chair is my night table with ten books on it (I just counted them!), and one Kindle; all within my reach.  The far opposite wall has the pencil portraits of my three children when they were one year old, each one looking beautiful and smiling at me.  My bedroom is definitely a very peaceful place, it is my retreat.  When the bedroom door is closed, Eddie understands the message and will not enter or knock until I open the door.  Sometimes I just sit and meditate on things that may have happened and whether I should hang on or let them go.  Other times I select a book to read depending on my need, or I write, or do both.  I love to listen to music there too, especially mellow jazz oldies.  It is my time out; my moment to be with myself, to explore my strengths and weaknesses and do whatever I want without guilt.

Another favorite alone time for me is when I’m at a bookstore.  I love to wander around and go from section to section picking out books, reading some pages, putting them back and doing the same further down the aisle.  I could be in a bookstore for hours and at the end walk out without making a purchase, yet feel happy.  When Eddie is with me, I don’t have the same freedom. He doesn’t hurry me, but follows me around the store which has the same effect.  So many times I have thought: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if commercial planners had a Barnes & Noble and Home Depot store next to each other?

          We need to take time for ourselves to rekindle our own fires; we need to know that we don’t need someone else to validate us. Let’s take time to be alone and listen to our silences.

                                      SOMETIMES

It’s good to be alone sometimes

and have a niche where to think,

and think again.

Time to make decisions,

time to provide awaited answers;

time to forgive,

time to forget.

It’s good to be alone sometimes,

and listen to music, read a good book,

or watch an old movie;

time to laugh, cry or be sad,

without having to explain;

glad to be alone,

guiltlessly alone.

It’s good to be alone sometimes,

but other times it hurts.

The reminiscing is painful,

it generates regrets of times gone by,

decisions made, answers given.

Even so, the feeling remains,

It’s good to be alone.....

sometimes.