Sometimes she hid
behind large dark
glasses
or wore floppy
hats &
sweaters, even if
it was hot.
She tried to hide
the black &
blues,
the cuts &
bruises
from her
neighbors’ meddling eyes &
her family’s
accusatory questions
until one day,
fear of imminent
death forced her
to flee her home,
young ones in tow.
For months she
had planned,
scrimped &
saved for
this decisive
moment,
but she waited
& waited,
perhaps believing
his lies of change,
of never again, of
I love you,
only to feel his
inebriated fists and kicks
again & again
on her body, on her soul.
Now she was
convinced,
he will not
change,
it will never
happen.
Without warning
or announcement,
without looking
back,
she left on a cold
Monday morning.
She left her
beautiful house and
all it contained
repeating over & over,
I will survive, we need to survive,
there has to be a better life.
And so began a
parade of motels,
dirty & dingy
cheap motels,
almost as bad as
staying home
with him, she
thought once,
but her mantra
kept her going,
she had to
survive,
for herself and
her babies.
She struggled to
find a job,
sufficient pay
for child care,
food & safe
harbor.
She bounced from
job to job,
from motel to
motel,
till one fateful day
a helping hand
reached out to
her.
The safe harbor
home became
her refuge, her
children were safe,
she was safe.
Through kindness,
understanding &
time her wounds
began to heal,
she took back
control of her life,
she no longer
blamed herself,
she uncovered and
reconstructed
her battered
self-worth.
Above all, she
was able to
let go of him
& her past.
She dared to visualize
a better life,
it was a life of
hard work,
nonetheless, a
life filled with
peace & love
& satisfaction,
a life worth
living.
©
Mildred Santiago 2014
