Lost and Not Found

Somehow and still a mystery to me, this past weekend I lost my wedding band right here in my house.  I discovered it yesterday when I was getting ready to go have my bimonthly manicure; I had misplaced or lost the platinum ring with diamond baguettes set in a unique diagonal pattern.  I searched for it in all the logical places I may have left it: on top of my dresser, in the jewelry drawer, on top of the bathroom cabinet, but it was nowhere to be found.  My heart started beating faster at the prospect of having lost the ring; I ran out to the garage to tell my husband Eddie.  When he saw the distress on my face and the tears about to start flowing, he immediately stopped working on his project and came inside.  We both searched all over; in probable places and totally improbable nooks and crannies, but to no avail.  I have to admit that at that point I broke down and cried. 

I vividly remember the day we purchased that wedding band.  It was a Saturday about fifteen years ago when we were still living in Puerto Rico.  Every month Eddie and I  had the habit of visiting Old San Juan just to walk around the beautiful streets of that charming colonial city and browse in a few of our favorite shops.  One must stop for us was the Puerto Rican Arts & Crafts shop on Calle Fortaleza.  The owners of that shop honor the artisans of Puerto Rico by only carrying locally made pieces of art.  They sell ceramics, oil and acrylic paintings, watercolors, silk-screens, jewelry, and even some gourmet foods (http://www.puertoricanart-crafts.com).  It was always a joy to walk through the store for they usually had new displays and the salespersons left us alone.  The day customarily ended with a late lunch at a well-known restaurant, La Mallorca, on Calle Tanca.  Two pages on their menu were filled with the day’s specials of traditional Puerto Rican foods that were tasty and fresh. Another aspect of this restaurant that called my attention was that the waiters, who had been working there for years, took the orders without writing them down and successfully served them without blunders.   

            Another attraction of Old San Juan for locals and tourists alike are the many jewelry shops that line both Fortaleza and Tanca streets. This seaport town is well known for offering the best deals in jewelry. There are diamonds, pearls, emeralds, and other precious stones set in rings, bracelets, necklaces, or earrings that are either gold, platinum or silver based and which glitter in the window displays.  I loved to stop to admire some pieces while Eddie cautiously maintained his distance.  However, on that particular Saturday he was not so reluctant to look in the store windows with me, especially at wedding bands.  I knew why.  About a month earlier we had been victims of a home invasion during which three young men cleaned out my jewelry drawer and took with them earrings and bracelets that not only had monetary value but most of all, sentimental value.  Also gone in the heist was my first platinum and diamond wedding band.  Again, it was not only the value in dollars that I lamented, but that it was a special gift from Eddie during a weekend getaway we had had in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands years earlier.  That Saturday in Old San Juan I was not asking for a replacement, it was that he knew how much I loved the stolen ring and he wanted to please me with another.

            We looked at many, many wedding bands in jewelry store after jewelry store and not one called my attention.  We were already walking down Calle Tanca toward the restaurant when we saw a small, insignificant jewelry store and skeptically decided to take a look.  To our surprise, there we found my second wedding band; another platinum and diamond ring that was different in the way the baguettes were set.  I loved it immediately.  I tried it on and it fit; it was made for me.  Without hesitation, my sweetheart husband purchased it.  That is the ring that I lost this past weekend.

             Eddie went back to the garage and I kept searching my bedroom and the other rooms of the house over and over when I suddenly stopped and had a reality check moment.  I reminded myself that I had suffered greater losses in my life on three different occasions. They were irreversible, irreplaceable losses.  Jewelry can be replaced. In addition, no matter how special the ring may have been, it did not measure up to the forty-six years of love, care and happiness that Eddie and I have shared nor the many ups and downs we have weathered together, always together.

In calm retrospect, I relate yesterday’s emotional state to the stages of grief, yes, grief.  I grieved for a lost piece of jewelry that had meaningful, sentimental value.  At first I was in denial (it’s not lost, it’s somewhere in the house); followed by anger (how can I be so stupid to lose something like that); then sadness (crying); and finally acceptance; it was lost and I had to let go and move on. I even spoke in an audible voice: Stop it! You have lost something greater than a piece of jewelry, stop this nonsense, get a hold of yourself and move on.

            I admit that I still thought about the ring a few times today, but not as painfully as yesterday.  It may show up or it may never show up, those are my thoughts and I am okay with that. Who knows what can happen in the near future, after all, we do have a trip to Puerto Rico coming up soon.