Life Lessons

Thoughts about destiny, free will and choice theory have been in my mind for many years. I am not obsessed with these life mysteries, but the thoughts came to mind every so often.  For many years I have accepted that there really is no "free" will, everything we do or say has a price.  Destiny at times may be a romantic, convenient belief, but when our so-called destiny causes pain and remorse, then we question it. Choices? Yes, we can make choices sometimes, other times we are faced with situations where we do not have a clear choice and we try to make the best of that particular situation, bracing ourselves for the outcome. The bottom line is that no matter the conditions under which we make a choice, there will always be outcomes, favorable or unfavorable.

This past month I have read many articles on all three concepts and decided to write the following poem. Those of you who are from my time insofar as music is concerned will know the song by Paul Anka that was out in 1958, You Are My Destiny.  If you remember the tune, instead of reading the words, sing them, it's more fun!

Life Lessons

I remember the song

from long ago,

when I was a gullible

thirteen year old,

it was one of my favorites:

“You are my destiny,

You share my reverie,

You are my happiness,

that’s what you are.”*

Destiny? What is destiny?

What about free-will and

my ability and right to make choices?

When I was young,

these thoughts did not concern me,

I lived a life I thought was free,

it didn't matter that I was part of

a larger, more powerful existence

governed by my parents.

Choices were made for me,

consequences shared or mitigated,

and in exchange, I felt safe.

I was an important piece

(or so I imagined),

of the puzzle called family.

The years went by

(as they insist on doing),

and gingerly, I began stepping out,

out of my protective shell of family,

cultural and gender boundaries,

risking the disapproval of my caretakers

and the warm comfort of home.

I realized that that which defined me,

in some ways also limited me.

Yet, I also knew that the time had come,

I had to make my own way,

and so I did.

Today,

as I take inventory,

I have learned without doubt

there will always be surprises,

good or bad.

I have learned that

even though I may not control

every twist and turn,

I still have a choice:

I can choose how to respond.

And so, I ask,

Is it destiny transcendent,  

or unrivaled free-will?

Do I really have a choice?

I prefer to believe that

life is a blending of all three,

working and weaving

the way together, as one,

compelling me to find and  

accept my place with

fortitude and a sense of self

in this exciting, unpredictable,

and at times inexplicable world,

after all......it is my life.

                                                            Mildred Santiago © 2015

*Lyrics and music by Paul Anka (1958)