¡Feliz Navidad!

Today is the day we commemorate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  In remembering the everlasting and greatest gift to humanity from God, we celebrate by giving gifts to all the persons in our lives that we love and cherish.  The best gift of all is love, the love we share and manifest throughout the whole year in so many different ways.  Just to name a few of those ways that have lifted my spirit or made me feel good I came up with this short list:

·        smiles that brighten an otherwise cloudy day;

·        unexpected phone calls just to say hello;

·        spontaneous hugs or kisses;

·        hilarious emails that make me laugh out loud;

·        getting together with friends to talk, have coffee or tea and cookies and cake;

·        having quiet time and reminiscing about the many, many wonderful moments I have had with my family and friends in the past.

Christmas is very special to me in many ways.  I especially love to remember my childhood and all the happy times I had with my parents, siblings and family that include the special foods, going to church for the Christmas pageant, and the anticipation of receiving gifts, always hoping to get that one special item we had requested. For me the best was the Christmas tree with its sparkling lights and ornaments that filled the living room with magic, pine scent and excitement. 

My sister Abby and I share the same feelings about Christmas, especially the tree.  We think this began for us as sisters during a Christmas holiday that my mother left us, four children, at my grandmother’s house during two weeks while she went off to Puerto Rico with her sister, Elba.  Abby was only a year and a half and I was almost eleven.  I think Abby felt abandoned (the first few days she cried a lot) and my natural protective instinct took over; I became her surrogate mother.  Even though we had adult supervision by our grandmother and Aunt Carmen, I took care of Abby all the time.  I made sure she ate and that she was happy.  The memory that often comes to mind is how every night I sat in grandma’s rocking chair in front of the Christmas tree with Abby on my lap and sang holiday songs till she fell asleep.  Unknowingly to us as children, we were forging a strong lifetime bond of love between sisters.

There are many other moments that fill my heart and that I hope to never forget. For a few years in our family we were only three children, each one of us two years apart in age.  Those early Christmases are real to me too and I revel in them from time to time.  The following poem is a walk down memory lane when it was only my sister Lily (deceased), my brother Joseph and me; Abby and John came into the family later.

Life is Good

Sometimes I need to reconnect with my childhood.

It’s a longing that magically conjures images,

images that make me feel all warm & peaceful inside.

I close my eyes and there we are,

my sister, my brother, & me,

in our secret hallway closet playing house.

The tea sets, mini pots & pans, dolls and

blankets are all around us.

The minutes & hours tick on,

but we don’t care.

I don’t want to open my eyes,

life was so simple back then.

I close my eyes again and there we are,

my sister, my brother, & me,

in the sun filled backyard,

under the garden hose that Mom tied

to the clothesline.

We squeal & jump up & down

as the cool water sprays

our hot & sweaty little bodies.

I wish I didn’t have to open my eyes,

life was so sweet back then.

Sometimes I don’t need to close my eyes.

When I sit in front of my own Christmas tree,

alone, in a dark and hushed house,

I am mesmerized by the sparkling lights and

soothing aroma of pine that permeates the air,

I remember the Christmases of long ago,

I even taste the anticipation,

the excitement of Christmas morning.

I hear the squeals of delight for

the dollhouse, the Lionel train, the flirty eyes doll;

everything we wished for was there!

Life was so blissful back then.

It seems I cannot let go of those moments;

or is it that I don’t want to let go?

All I know is that there are times,

in the midst of my life so hurried,

when I need to go back for an instant

to recapture and relive

the simple, sweet, & blissful times,

for the child that reveled in them is alive &

yearns to be reminded that life is still good.

I hope this special time of the year brings back good memories to all of you.  I know that some are suffering greatly this Christmas because of unexpected losses and my heart goes out to them. However, I too have gone through great losses in my life and I can truly say that over time, even though the scars remain, the wounds have healed and I can laugh and enjoy life.  I believe we need to keep that inner child alive no matter our chronological age.  I know that and this Christmas I gifted my inner child.  Merry Christmas!!!